Hey, its been sumtime since I posted anything. Actually I had been a bit sick for sumtime [feeling better now but still not a 100%].Pls overlook my spellings or any wierd letters, symbols that may appear.[am writing on my Nokia 7710, & posting thru GPRS is not perfect, so….].Heres an e-mail I recieved. Its quite funny so I decided to post it here.Its on the President Bushs Indian visit in march earlier this year[actually its more of Bush Bashing 🙂 ]. I think I have read it somewhere but, cant place it. Asked the sender but no reply.
“Heres Condy, come to give me a last minute briefin’ before I set off on my tour of Indiana, beginnin March. Hiya, Condy. Im all set for Indianna. Whats that? I goin’ not to Indianna-which is a part of good ole USA-but to India which is a different place alltogethor? Well, well you live an’ learn everyday. I always thought India was in Indianna, which is why they call it Indianna. Maybe when I’m there I should see if I could organise that somehow. Condy says the most important thing on the agenda is the nuclear deal. After all these years of saying NO to the Indian Nuclear Program, the US now wants to help India nuclearise, like all get out. Ask Condy why. An’ she tells me that if we dont give India nuclear energy, India & China will burn up all the worlds oil. An’ that will never do. Cos as a Texan oil man I know that its only the US in general-an Texas in particular- which has the God given right to burn up all the worlds oil. Condy says I’m not to ask too many questions about Indias fast breeder projects. An’ I tell Condy, Gee I’d never ask anybody any questions about their breeder projects. I mean with a population of a billion plus India must sure have a lulu of a fast breeder project, an’ then some. But that’s their businnes. We folk from Texas believe in the missionary position an we don’t talk in public about how people breed. Condy asks me what I will say, if the Indians ask me if I intend to launch a strike against Iran. An’ I say heck, Condy, you know how I dont believe in strikes an’ all that labor union stuff . Nah, Ill just tell the Indians that I’ll invite the Iranians over for a nice friendly bird shoot with my pardner, Dick Cheny. That’ll take care of Iranins once an’ for all.
Condy warns me that the Indians are likely to ask for a larger quota of H1B Visas from US. This surprises me. I know that all foreigners are weirdos. Come to think of it, all those outside texas are weirdos. But why would these Indian weridos or anyone else for that matter want a larger quota oh HIV from the US?. Dont they enough AIDS of their own? Condy say H1B not HIV. An’ I say huh? What do you know. There’s a new disease eveyday. I’d say it was a result of global warming. Except of course I don’t believe in any global warming an’ the Coyote Protocol an’ all the envoirnment horseshit. Condy says Ive got to watch out for tricky questions on Iraq, an what I’m planning to do about getting out of Iraq an’ settin up a democratic rule. An’ I rell her, hey thats simple. Democratic rule is what they want right? Ill give ’em democratic rule. Pack Al Gore an’ all them other democrats to Iraq an let them rule the place. That’ll take care of everything. Incuding Al Gore.
Condy tells me that Indians have this funny things with hyphens. Like they’ll invite you to a drink-shrink, an some dinner-winner. But they dont like us Americans to use hypens at all, particularly where Pakistan us concerned. Got it. No Bush-Mush cracks, right? Condy says she hopes Bill wont upstage me by visitin India the same time as I do. An’ I say Clintons visitin India again? An she says, not that Bill, the other Bill, whos even a bigger hit in India than Clinton is. I dont know which Bill shes talkin about.Bill Cosby? The bill of rights? Whatever. Condy says I must learn to say hi Hi in Indian. An’ I tell her, dont worry, I know all about these ethnic greetings. When in India, you fold your hands together, an smile, an say: Saynora. Or is it Gesundheit? “