[Written on my Nokia 7710, & posted via GPRS so overlook any weird spellings or characters that may pop up]
Hello [ 😀 ]
The weathers become quite pleasent [tell me though,why is it considerd boring to start of a
conversation with the weather? :-)]The humidity has gone down, the winds are cool, & everything looks fresh & clean. Makes you admire the nature’s equilibrium. It has all the equations balanced out perfectly, & probably nobody will be able to replicate
that, least of all us humans[Even the Matrix was unbalanced, hence the anomly, Neo 😉 ] Dont know about you ppl but serene weather [such as this]has this unnerving quality of making me go a bit philosphical[fatalistic?] & do some introspection about myself-my life,my fate,my destiny. I am 18 now, at a crucial juncture of my life. Upto now I had been living in my parent’s shelter[had been studying in kota for class 11 & 12 but still…]who have nurtured me , protected me. Now I’ll be taking my own decisions[God!I can even vote now!!]Soon I’ll be going to college for my higher studies, a completley new phase. There is fear mingled with a sense of excitement in venturing into the unknown[melodramatic? :-?]. There are expectations from me, some by my family, my friends, my peers……Uptill class 12 it was school education, emparted to make you a better human, a better & responsible person. College education is all about career. What you learn here will be practically applicable where you work. I guess its the job I am worried about. You see, one works basically to survive[earn to eat so that you may live] after that you aspire for better things like a roof over your head, good clothes, cars, etc. In other words the society forces us to reach higher. To be accepted you have to be succesful for which you need a job that holds respectibility[awe?] with pay. I am scared if I’ll be able to corner a job so that I may continue or increase the social standing that has been provided to me by my parents as my success or failure will affect their place in society. Basically if I will be able to maintain the family honour-thats what scares me[Ain’t I a big cowward :-s].
In class 10 my friends & I would plan how to make India a better place[& we still want to] But in school we only had to study & had enough time to ponder over such things. Now that we approaching stage of implementation, many more variables are popping into
the equation. You go to college, get your degree, do P.G, get a job, settle down, create a career. Soon you get entangled in your daily routine. What you planned [a decade back] to do takes a back seat, or even worse slips out, due to over-ambition, clearing deadlines or just plain apathy. You repeat the monotonous activities each day just going through the motions. This is what happens in John Grishams “The Street Lawyer”. When the lead character [its been over 2 yrs,
so I dont remember the names *sheepish grin*] graduated from a premiere Law College, he had wanted to work for the good of the ppl. He had wanted to take up cases on behalf of the innocent & provide them with justice, but he became purely moneyminded.His ambition & greed makes him take up all, even those of hardcore criminals.Thats what I fear -corruption of our ideals as we step out into this mad crazy world. It takes a lot of character & will power to stay oncourse. So far I havent been tested in any manner, & I dont think life gives you any practise rounds!! All you can hope is that you get a wakeup call at the correct time like The Street Lawyer.
Whew!! I guess I should have put up a discliamer of sorts in the beginning, about this being a rambling of a person who has become [a little]melodramatic. I have written this exactly as the thoughts came to my mind so you may not be able to make much sense out of
As I had been writing the above……thing……I was listening to some fantabulous tracks by the band ‘Jal’ of their album ‘Aadat’ on my new iPod :-p[well dad gave the iPod to me*punches the air in exhilration*.Refer to iPod Nano Black if you dont known what I’m talking about]. Their voice is quite different from the ppl of of our music industry[who all seem to have those well oiled type voices. The exception being Mr.Reshammiya 😉 who I dont happen to like at all, he sort of irritates me…. ] .Their voice has this gluttural rawness to it, which I love [their adapted versions for the movie Kalyug did not find much favour with me]. I really like the lyrics esp. those of Dil Haarey Pukare, Teri Yaad & Panchi Hoon. All emtional content [love, sadness, truth] are in perfecr proportion. I hate listening to sad songs[Life has enough of it anyway…] & Jal evokes just the required amount of emotion, it doesnt harp only on one, trying to drown you. All are coupled- sadness with hope, pain with love, you know… that type. Makes very good listening esp. in the mood that I was!! Music is one of my passions [if you can call listening a passion ;-p], it mixes with everything, I even play it when I’m studying esp. when doing maths. Earlier I used to play the voilin but haven’t done so, for the
last 5 yrs. Anyway Im more interested in the guitar now, hope to take classes on it.lets see….
I’m also reading a new book titled ‘Hitler’. Its biography of Hitler by Ian Kershaw. I had read Hitlers Mein Kampf[M.K,quite sometime back], but this book is a real revelation. You see M.K was written when Hitler was in jail. It wasnt really an autobiography, but a sort of manifesto for his political career. He had glorified himself alot & also had tried to hide his negative pts. M.K was meant to endear the ppl to him to enhance his career. He created a mythical Hitler
that would be admired & looked upon by the ppl of Germany. Post more about it here as I read. Quite interesting reading, these biographies[NOT
AUTOBIOGRAPHIES]of leaders.[Would recommend reading some like that of Indira Gandhi, busts a lot of myths about them!!]
Till we meet again…….